After leaving my marriage, I found it hard to love and trust myself. The verbal and emotional abuse I endured played over and over in my head. After reading countless blogs and talking to my inner circle, it was nice to know that I was not alone. There are many survivors just like me who are struggling with this step of healing. Once I understood this, I began the journey to rebuild. First thing I did, was pray for guidance, and I began to research and study scriptures in the Bible to help me see myself the way God sees me. God wants us to have confidence in life. 2 Timothy 1:7 – “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”

I posted this scripture all over my apartment and in my car.  Next, I started reading blogs on building confidence after abuse. I ran across a blog from New Hope (Healing, Outreach, Prevention, and Empowerment). In this blog  “ Finding Self Confidence After Abuse”, they listed some ways that I started to practice.

  • Find you again –  I took the time to rediscover parts of myself that I lost.
  • Know that it was not your fault – I had to come to understand that the behavior of my ex was not my fault. We all have a choice in how we treat people.  I am not perfect no one is.
  • Set boundaries – This was and still is the hardest for me. Giving myself permission to set clear boundaries around my personal space, sexuality, emotions, time, and energy is an ongoing process. I still struggle with saying no.

The purpose of this blog is to let the reader know that you are not alone. I feel your pain and I personally know your struggle. Rebuilding your self-confidence after it has been stripped away isn't an easy or quick process, but you have everything you need. inside of you, just remember to be gentle and patient with yourself. You've been through a traumatic ordeal and healing can't be rushed.